Sugar Cube?
by zaraX
Summary: Finnick and Katniss make it together to District 13, suffer from the loss of loved ones, and turn to each other for help. And although "help" is the only thing they initially want from each other, they each receive more than they bargained for. One-shot


**AN: **I kind of wanted to experiment with Finnick and Katniss, although when I first heard about this pairing I thought it was sort of disturbing and wrong…. Then I realized that they have a lot of potential chemistry so I wanted to see how it would play out. Evil plotbunny.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy or characters

_(District Thirteen)_

There he is. The charming, extremely handsome and arrogant Finnick Odair. Victor of the 65th Hunger Games and sex symbol of the Capitol.

That's what I _would _have said if I had never met him before, participated in the Games with him, or somehow become his friend. His ally. Because even though we are currently in the safe hands of District 13, we are still in the arena. Our minds are brought back to the screams of dying tributes and the growls of ferocious mutts every day. We are slowly going insane, mad. Peeta isn't here, he's probably being tortured by Snow at the moment. Annie is… well, Annie is also gone. Without these people, Finnick and I are just empty beings contained in the blank rooms of District 13.

He looks up and sees me.

"Hey." I say to him. But he just turns his head and looks back out the window.

I walk over and sit down next to him. His fingers are crazily making knots and untying them just as quickly. My mind flashes back to when I was training for the Quarter Quell. I had been working on a complicated knot when he had reached from behind me and helped me. He was still his old self back then. In a way, I kind of miss that person.

"What happened, Finnick?" I ask. He looks like he's lost everything, the charm and the happiness he used to have.

"I don't know what you mean," he replies absently.

"Look- I know you miss her," I say, "But sometimes… we have to move on."

I feel guilty for telling him this, but if he needs any advice right now, this is it. He can't mourn over Annie forever.

"You don't understand," he says.

"_I _don't understand?" I say, and can't help but feel slightly hurt, "Peeta is in the Capitol right now. I don't know what they're doing to him. They could be _killing _him right now! It's horrible—not knowing what's happening."

"Well then I don't know how you stand it." Finnick snaps back.

"I- well, I.." To be honest, I don't know either. If I'm so upset about not having Peeta, why am I not going insane like Finnick is?

"I'm not sure." I say a bit guiltily.

Finnick looks up at me, and something in his expression changes. He looks a little surprised too. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you love Peeta?"

"What?!" He decides to ask me this _now_?

He patiently waits for an answer and I pace around the room, back and forth, back and forth. Finally I sigh and decide with a reasonable answer, "Well, I care about him a lot." I say firmly, because I do, and I want him to come back.

"But do you love him?" Finnick inquires.

Why does he have to ask me this question? I've been battling it in my head ever since the night in the arena Peeta kissed me. And I still don't know the answer. I know that I have strong feelings for him, but that's only because he was my ally and my friend, and I owed him. Saving Peeta was the least I could do. All the romance was mainly for the audience. It was all played out. But then again, those kisses in the arena were real. It all just confuses me. I decide to be truthful with Finnick, because after all he's been through, he deserves the truth.

"I don't know," I say. Finnick just nods a little, and leans his head back. "I understand." He says. "That's how I felt about Annie at first, but then it turned into something more."

"Oh," is all I can say.

"Sorry," he says looking back down, "I forgot I shouldn't talk about it. It's just hard to forget."

"I know" I say. Then I have sort of an epiphany. Maybe I can help him. I hate seeing him so lifeless, so if there's something I could do to fix him…_anything…_it would be worth it.

"Do you want to go outside with me to hunt tomorrow? You look like you could use some fresh air." I blurt out randomly.

"Outside?" he repeats quizzically.

"There isn't much to see," I say, "But I think a change of scenery would be good for, uh, your health. No offense."

To my relief, Finnick seems to like the idea. "You're right," he finally says, "If Gale doesn't mind, then yes," he drops the rope he holds in his hand and holds mine instead. I freeze at the sudden contact and manage a weak smile, which is especially hard to do when I don't understand what he's trying to do.

My mind only repeats one thing…whether significant or not, I can't discern…but Finnick let go. He let go of the rope to hold on to something else.

Me.

* * *

The next day, we leave 13 and go outside. This is the first time Finnick's been out since he arrived. The outdoors seems to do a lot to him. Miraculously, he's slightly more energetic. He even starts talking a lot more, walking through the sparse forest with ease and chatting as if he were almost back to himself again. I like this a lot better. I guess this is my goal- to get him back to being normal. But deep inside I know it'll be impossible to fully achieve. The arena always leaves scars, the worst kinds that will never fade. I push this out of my mind and decide I'll try anyways.

"Shh" he says when I step on a twig and snap it. I've been so lost in my thoughts I've almost forgotten that I'm supposed to be hunting.

"Sorry," I say quietly. We haven't had much luck so far. It's as if all the animals are gone. I look over at Finnick, who's walking soundlessly. Although he's gone sort of mental, his body is still the same. Still clearly defined muscles just visible under his t-shirt and perfectly tanned skin. I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him training recently, so I have no idea how he's still so fit…

I force myself to turn my head. Ugh, why am I acting all Capitol-fangirl? Finnick is my friend, only here because I thought he needed help.

After another hour of silence, occasional shooting and meager sentences, we get a few rabbits to fill the bag. On our way back, we come across a stream and Finnick has the idea to catch some fish.

"I'm not that great at fishing." I admit, "Here." I hand the spear over to Finnick.

"Thanks." He takes it, tossing it back and forth between his hands and weighing it. It's like the spear is an old part of his body that he hasn't used in a while. But when he does use it, it's almost magical. He's so natural at this; I wish we could just stay here all day so he could be alone without any interruption, or any reminder from President Coin about the war. He just seems so perfect when he's out and away from the stressful environment in 13.

After another minute, I realize that I'm standing there, still watching him and stuck in my trance.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Um, yeah." I rub my eyes. "It's this new medicine they put me on." I mumble, "I makes my.. eyes.. hurt."

He gives me a strange look. "Oh, okay. So, do you think this is enough?" He holds up an almost bursting bag of fish.

I laugh a little, "I'm sure 13 will be glad."

We walk back and hand a very happy Greasy Sae the food. Then Finnick walks me back to my compartment. It's already really late.

"Do you think you can go again tomorrow?" I ask him, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Depends on my schedule," he shrugs. "But it was nice today. I mean, it was nice being outside and all. I…I realized a lot of important things that I probably should have known earlier."

"Like what?" I ask. I don't dare hope for what he will say.

He just shakes his head tiredly and smiles a little. "Good night, Katniss."

"Good night." I resist the urge to hug him. Instead, I turn around and step in my room, shutting the door softly behind me. I walk over to my bed and fling myself down, tired, confused, and angry with myself. What is it with Finnick? He's so annoyingly perfect, and seems hopeless at the same time. I just want to help him. But helping him can have dangerous effects. He makes me feel so… good. Like I'm special, like I'm his best friend. I can't have these side effects. What would everyone think? I push these strange new feelings out of my head, and concentrate on trying to sleep.

Instead, the feelings just come back. In my dreams, he's everywhere. He's looking at me from across a room. He's from the other side of the table. He's spearing fish. He's standing next to a horse. He's holding sugar cubes. His sparkling sea green eyes are boring into mine with a sudden intensity and I feel like I'm melting. He walks over to me, leans in towards me and whispers seductively in my ear "Hello Katniss. Want a sugar cube?"

The next morning, I get my schedule. Great, I have to go to boring meets where we talk about the rebellion all day. So naturally I decide to skip the meets and spend my time in some closets instead. The fabrics are good company. I find myself sitting next to a velvet jacket. I run my hand obsessively through the material just like I had done on the train ride to my first Games, allowing my thoughts to wander back to yesterday.

A small amount of hope and happiness floats through my mind and after a few minutes, I fall asleep. I've been having quite a thing for naps lately. They help me escape the real world.

* * *

An hour later, I'm awakened by a staff member who directs me to my meeting. He doesn't seem too surprised to see me here. Guess I've become known for hiding out. I make a mental note to pick a different closet next time. I sullenly walk to room 58, and open the door.

"You're late," the woman says sharply when she notices my arrival. "_An hour_ late."

I show her my bracelet, "Sorry, I'm a bit mental." Everyone giggles a little. I take a seat next to Gale, who looks at me pitifully. I don't care. I don't want him to feel bad for me. So I ignore him, as well as Finnick.

The rest of the meeting is unnerving. I keep thinking I feel Finnick's eyes on me, but every time I sneak a surreptitious glance in his direction, he's looking away. I notice he doesn't have the mentally disoriented bracelet on his wrist like I do. Huh. Why did he get his taken off?

Finally, after forever, the meeting ends. I must have dozed off a few times because I don't remember much of what the speaker was saying. Something about a growing population after war. I immediately leave the room with relief, but unfortunately, Finnick is right behind me as I walk out.

"Katniss."

I turn around to face him and my eyes widen slightly with surprise. He definitely seems saner than yesterday. The color seems to have returned to his face, his hair isn't as messy and he's dressed in the _normal _clothes. I stare down at the ground uncomfortably. Has he already been dismissed by the hospital?

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, of course," I lie. _No_, I think, _it's because you're playing with my mind and making me feel things I shouldn't feel. No, because I'm mentally at war with you, trying to push you away when you just seem to be getting closer._

"You seemed kind of distracted."

I realize he's feeling bad for me. It's like we switched places from yesterday. Now it's his turn to want to help.

"Yeah, I was in a closet," I say sheepishly. No, wait. That didn't sound right. "I mean," I explain, "I needed some time alone, but sort of fell asleep in a spare closet instead."

Still sounds awkward.

"Oh," Finnick said nodding, like that was perfectly understandable. "Well, if you're tired we don't have to go-"

"No! I'm fine, really," I interrupt, though I wince when I realize how eager I sound. It's just that I really do want to go back outside with him today. Yesterday was so perfect—it was almost therapeutic.

Finnick pauses for a moment before speaking. "Katniss, you're a pretty bad liar. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"What?" I ask completely surprised. And yes, someone's told me this before. Peeta has, but I don't want to think about him right now so I say "No."

Finnick laughs, and says "Okay then. See you in an hour."

"See you then." I reply, smiling.

* * *

An hour later, Finnick and I are back in the woods. Fortunately Gale is busy again in the tech room with Beetee, leaving Finnick and I alone.

"You sure you don't wanna go back?" I ask. I point up to the sky, "It'll be raining soon."

"It can't be that bad," he reasons. But right after he says it, a light drizzle begins."

I shoot him a _I told you _look.

"As long as it's not thundering." Finnick reminds me. "Trust me. It could be worse."

"Someone's desperate." I tease.

"Being in 13 is like being in prison." Finnick says with distaste. He's right, and I hate it just as much as he does.

"Miss the Capitol luxury?" I ask. I meant it to be a joke, but I immediately feel bad afterwards.

"Of course, I mean, the baths were top notch." Finnick says sarcastically.

I laugh for the first time today. Finnick's definitely starting to sound like himself again.

"There won't be many animals out in this weather, right?" he asks.

"Nope." I say, realizing with disappointment that there isn't much point in this trip at all.

It starts raining even harder.

"Um, Finnick? We should go back now." I say. "Or at least find shelter."

He looks at me, and I swear those dazzling green eyes are just like the ones I dreamed about. _Snap out of it, Katniss!_

He stops walking. "Can I tell you something?" he asks me. His voice is a little more serious now.

"What is it?" I ask over the sound of the rain. We're now in a small clearing, and I'm starting to think we've got a pretty good chance of getting struck by lightning any second now.

He takes my hand in his, and says "I wanted to say thank you. I mean, I know now isn't a very good time, but I'm glad I have a friend I can count on and talk to."

I feel slightly disappointed when he says the word friend. But then I tell myself to accept it. He's right, we're friends. What's wrong with me? Why am I doing this to myself?

It starts pouring and the rain settles into my clothes, soaking into my skin and giving me chills down my spine.

Finnick takes a step closer, causing my breath to catch in my throat. Through all the rain and our soaking wet clothes I can feel his body heat radiating out from his chest.

"But I wanted to ask you- would it hurt if we were more?"

My heart seems to have stopped. Did Finnick Odair say what I thought be just said? No. I don't believe this. He's right in front of me, rain dripping off his hair, off his eyelashes, and off the tip of his nose, and he's just _standing there, _looking at me intently, waiting for me to speak.

"I... I don't-" but I can't say anything for some reason. I'm too distracted.

Instead of waiting for an answer, Finnick leans in and kisses me. I'm shocked at first. I tremble a little at the taste of his lips. The sweet raindrops on his lips mixed with the essence of salty seawater. He wraps his arms around me, and I drop my bow and do the same. His muscular body pressed against mine is amazing, giving me chills yet warming me up at the same time. This feeling is incredible. But there's something wrong. Something in the back of my head is flashing a warning and telling me to stop. I push him off, and he looks at me, slightly surprised.

"I- I can't, Finnick." I say looking down, ashamed.

"Can't what?" he asks, staring at me. What does he think of me now? That I'm some crazy demented girl  
desperate for attention?

"This is wrong," I insist, "And you know it is."

Finnick looks at me frustrated. "Look Katniss, there's nothing left of us. You can't deny it. We're hopeless. I'm hopeless. But when I see you, every single day, it's like you're something I can hang on to, and keep me from going insane. You understand, right? I _need_ this."

"Oh so this is all about you now?" I say angrily. What does he think I am, a drug? "Did you ever think about how I would feel about this? And Peeta, when he comes back, and Gale, and everyone else who knows we're friends?"

"No it's _not_ just about me. I think about you all the time." he says, "And I know how you feel. I know because it's exactly how I feel. I need this," he says again forcefully. "It's not wrong if you do too."

I'm about to argue back, but there's no point. There's no point in arguing because somehow, I've found that he's right about one thing. I want this too. Even if I shouldn't. Even if it makes me feel guilty. Because when I'm with Finnick, everything disappears—the pain, the war, the sadness, the suffering.

He looks at me with those intense sea green eyes. We've both been through too much. It's scary though, when I think about it, how the Games have driven us half-mad.

I run my fingers through his soaking wet bronze hair and pull him close to me until his face is right next to mine. It's exactly how we first met.

"You're right." I say softly. "I need this too." I realize how long I've wanted this. Now, he's closer to me than he's ever been….and I like it. I want it.

A streak of light flashes up in the sky. "Lightning." I manage to say, pointing up to the sky.

"I think if I can handle fire, I can handle some lightning too." Finnick smirks. He smoothly pulls me back in for another kiss, making me forget about everything all over again. I feel like I'm truly on fire. Now I understand why Finnick is wanted by so many people. He's got that power he can hold over you, making you feel completely in love and completely attracted to him. But is that really the reason I can't keep him out of my thoughts? Or the reason I feel this hunger for his closeness?

No. It's because he understands like no one else does. He's gone through maybe double of what I've gone through. He's had victory, he's had losses, he's had fame and he's had rejection. We're in this together now and there's no point in taking it all back.

After a forever, we break apart. Finnick whispers in my ear "Was that your answer, Girl on Fire? Can we be more than allies?" His voice is strong but slightly insecure, and I want to brush it away. I want to comfort him and tell him everything will be fine.

So with barely-there confidence but undeniable honesty, I answer "Yes."

**AN: **So that was my Finnick/Katniss fanfic, hope you liked it! I know it was short, but that's what I was going for. Please review! Thank you!


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